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Archive for the month “July, 2012”

Formula for FAILURE…

i cannot give you the formula for success, but i can give you the formula for failure – try to please everybody ( G. B. Swope )…

reading this quote hit me to the core. made me stop and check on myself…how am i faring when it comes to human connection and relationships….do i always carry with me scorecard to validate how others would react or feel?

is my satisfaction always equated on how other people would see me….how they would accept me….

thank you Lord that i am wonderfully and beautifully made and i am destined to succeed….


Who Is The Authentic Me

Last night i hosted a birthday dinner to four of my friends…it felt good. One remarked that she never experienced such an act.

After the dinner we went chilling out in a bar. It was a huge group.Suddenly there was an instant shift on my emotions. I suddenly felt i am not wanted and i don’t belong. I pretended to feel okay but my friends noticed that i suddenly turned cold.

We continued the celebration at home and i feel not  to connect. I retreated to my room to find comfort.. But the other side of me still wants to engage with the group,…as i joined them i felt out of place again…i felt they were exchanging private cues on which i am not part of. I decided again to retreat into my room…i was battling with emotions…then i realized i am still holding on with so much insecurity. I cannot let things flow naturally because i am not authentic with my self…

I realized that the authentic me :

– should stop protecting myself with people and to be dependent on them on my happiness which can be costly and temporary.

– should face my fear that i am not beautiful inside out. That i can get people’s attention by buying them dinner, offering jobs, gifting them with fancy materials things or hosting them activities.

– should shift my perspective that i can be a mother or father to a dysfunctional person. That i can turn that mode of connecting into a romantic relationship.

– should free myself from carrying the reponsibility of providing the needs, pay all the time when i am with my friends.

– is able to firmly say NO and not underpromise or overpromise for the fear of losing that person.

– should believe and appreciate my God given talents, count my blessings and believe that i can finish whatever i have started and to let my fears that it will not succeed.

– should LOVE myself more to ENJOY life more.

– should never be afraid to be alone.



A male model friend almost collapsed yesterday due to exhaustion and extreme dieting after doing groceries at MOA Hypermarket…

And i would like to commend the cashiers and staff of MOA Hypermarket…authentic concern was shown. One staff even look for vicks and white flower to relieve the discomfort my friend was feeling…

Im also glad that waiting chairs is made available after the counter area…he was able to rest and gain back his composure…

What was so sad was when my friend was about to fall and  as we rush to rescue some customers near him fled like lightning…

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